I've been very suicidal often times in the past. However, I *think* I have always been able to filter it with deterents such as my children and my parents. But now, I feel callous about it. I feel like I could follow through with things with the ability to rationalize my actions. Perhaps I am still too principled to give into it. But, I do feel scared about it. My mom thinks I have PMS on top of a miserable depression (which I'm not sure she's right about) and that the hormones are messing with me. Even still, I don't feel safe and I am having trouble wrapping my mind around it just being hormones.