I just don't know what to do anymore. I just celebrated my 10 year anniversary, I should be excited, right? I have a husband who cooks most of the time, helps take care of our kids (who are 7 and 3 and ornery as all get out) and he just loves buying jewelry for me for any occasion. Sounds like a dream, I know. So why haven't I really smiled lately? I've thought long and hard lately to think and pinpoint what is going on. I just don't feel loved. I don't need jewelry and I don't care if the house is messy. I loved it when he used to play with my hair, but he stopped several years ago, because "I expected it." When we are intimate and he's done being intimate, he says "thanks honey" and leaves me for the shower while I'm left alone to decide whether to go to sleep or to finish being intimate by myself (this has always been the case). I have to beg and plead with him to go places and he usually doesn't end up going because he "hates crowds" or amusement parks, or staying at a distant relatives house or [insert excuse here]. Which leaves me either at home bummed or I go with the kids and have a miserable time trying to handle the kids by myself. There are so many more things like that I could go on forever. How am I supposed to love my husband when I feel so unloved? I've told him all of this before because he says he is not a mind reader and I'm supposed to give it to him straight. Well that apparently doesn't work either because here we are 10 years later and I feel zero happiness in my life. It's so emotionally draining to constantly wear a fake smile and to be honest, I feel it in my chest that there is a breaking point I'm about ready to cross. That scares me because I don't know what that looks like. I guess I'm asking for help because I just don't know what to do anymore.