I ask myself Why???

So many years.. after the divorce.. 23 years of raising our son alone.. why.. why... why...

I don't understand... why.. did you not just kill me.. you tried.. so many times... and yet today.. you live.. free.. clear..

you "just" beat me.. your wife... in the eyes of the law.. was ok.. after all is just a "wife"..

So why did I put this under relationships.. because.. my relationship... "wife" to my "husband"... by definition.. made me a "non-person".. a person with "no rights".. and "non- entity".. a "nothing"..

After 23 years of being divorced.. I still ask.. why? am I the only one.. who cared what happened to me..

Why? Why was I the only one? and Why.. did I stop caring about me?