You are at the end of your rope for a reason, you are choosing partners that are controlling and abusive and don't respect YOU.
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I have tried over and over again to prove that I am a good woman, but it is never good enough. He will just find something else to be mad about. I feel hopeless and disgusted.
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This means you are in an abusive relationship. You should never have to try that hard. You need to have therapy so you can get to the bottom of why you end up choosing the wrong individuals as partners. You have developed a victim mentality and you need to get to the bottom of it so you don't live out your life as an ongoing victim in the relationships you have.