I feel alone a lot. There are times I'm around many people, but I still feel very alone. In fact, it feels that way most the time. Sometimes I want to be physically alone, but other times, I want to be with people, especially the person I'm dating....bless him, but he isn't in a place in his life where he can be as reliable (he is in a legal fight with child's mother and as much as he wants to be emotionally available, I sense he is unable to give me that). A lot of my friends have moved on and are married....many are happily married. I try not to depend on anybody too much when I'm alone so that my expectations are not too high of others. Nevertheless, I struggle with disappointment and plans changing. It makes me not want to make plans to begin with since it can be exhausting.

I try to find movies to watch, places to go on my own if I'm certain I won't have plans, and find enjoyment without constantly having to surround myself around others since dependency is a trap for me. I do think it's normal to want to be alone at times....especially for those of us with Bipolar during different phases of our condition where we need to regroup and take care of ourselves before being available to others as much.