(((HUGS SARAH)))
I'm in my 30s and understand how u feel about being part child. Due to childhood stuff..some idk either. I have some sort of dissociative/ptsd/other cmplications mixed bag of dxs but my psych team has never really been able to concretely accurately narrow down the list and over the yrs the confusion and failed depression treatments got me to a place where I am almost 100% isolated from any social interactions and the child part can't detach from me and therefore I can sound look and act like an adult, but function like a scared dependent child hiding from everything loud and scary. ...My experiences with relationships is very different tho. One of my fractured pieces did become predominantly sexually in teen yrs....I was in no way ready for any of that and over the yrs more retrauma and dissociation got worse. I am married now actually, but I think he really just got stuck with me in the bargain I do love him he is my bestfriend an spent yrs trying to engage physically w/ him but it just drove me more into my child mind and I've finally just had to let go of any semblance of control I thought I had. And accept that I am too stunted and repeat trauma..only able to be held like a child and maybe a tiny peck but mostly I turn cheek..comfort of security hugs is all I can tolerate. Things are not good right now, but when it works....I miss out on at least half of our lives together. Weird as it sounds, I am living a double life w/ one partner. He gets her or me but I can't be part of them....so in some way I feel you are blest. I'd like to think that if the teen -when I met my so never happened..maybe then when I met him..he could have helped me grow.. so I guess what I'm saying is I hope for you that your path leads to growth and deep true loving intamacy...I truly believe we all have someone out there that is really right for us... if my path was like yours..I would maybe have taken time to really get to know all of myself first and when the right person for you comes along, u will be able to clearly identify your needs and pace to feel secure b4 attempting anything physical...and if they are the right one they will understand and love you for everything thing you are and maybe you can find home ♡... Idk if that makes any sense but I dream in fairytales and still truly believe in happily ever after...