Don't know if this is exactly the right place to put this, but I'm dealing with a immensely strong desire to become pregnant. Maybe it's because everyone I know of is getting married and starting families of their own (mostly cousins), but I seem to have babies on the brain. However, I'm not so sure I want the responsibility of raising a child. I can barely take care of my own self most days, adding a second life to be completely responsible for is simply overwhelming to me.

I also am scared of what I'd need to do med wise if I were to get pregnant, like stop taking the ones that are damaging to a developing fetus. I'm barely sane enough ON my meds. Take me off of them and add a bunch of surging new hormones to the equation? That seems a recipe for disaster. And then there's the whole post partum depression that scares the bejeebus out of me. I've heard some really scary stories.

That and I have almost no maternal instincts. I love babies, but am clueless about them. Like, their crying for something. Is it a dirty diaper? Are they hungry? Colic? I don't have the slightest clue!! It's like I have zero intuition in that area.

Is my strong desire to become pregnant just the innate desire to reproduce that lives within any given species? Like my biological clock not so subtly telling me it's ticking and won't be available for producing offspring forever? My doctor said that I am very likely to have early onset menopause, same as my mother. On one hand, that's a relief, because then I don't have to deal with female issues, but on the other hand, it sends me into panic mode and brings stronger feelings of wanting a baby.

I should also mention that I'm not even in a relationship at this point. I feel like I'm going insane.