Hi Blue,

You have been on my heart.

Your family, too.

It's possible your current feelings of numbness are also, even partially, self-protective. It may be you are trying to protect yourself from a mixed episode, as you've mentioned.

Hypomania and mania can also be defenses to depression. If we wish to avoid hypomania or mania, or any major shifts, we may try to avoid depression or emotions we may then "defend" against? You may be trying to maintain stability throughout all that's going on and yet to come?

I wrote in another thread about this and thought of you.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...ml#post5159578

Lots going on for you and for the people you love dearly.

Be super gentle with yourself.

May you feel Love and support at all times.

We are here for you.

In Support of You,
WC