Hi, it makes total sense. It sounds like you have a fascination with medical illnesses in general (your interest in being a vet) and you also didn't receive a lot of nurturing when you needed it, as a child. My mom had a "chin up" attitude and I remember many a day trudging through school with what I now realize was bronchitis. As a result, I'm subject to respiratory infections and have had pneumonia several times.

I have a degree in psychology that I don't use, but mental illness fascinates me and I self-study to keep up with the field, as a hobby. I lent it to a friend who never returned it, but I used to own a PDR nurse's reference book to help understand more about the various meds I take for my MI. I have thought of picking a copy up at the bookstore again, I just keep forgetting, I guess.

I think it is fine to be concerned about your health. In the end, we are in charge of our own care. However, if you mainly feel the need to be nurtured, how about a therapist? You will receive that care and can explore the issue at the same time.

Don't beat yourself up about this. You sound like a nice person that needs some TLC. xo