She doesn't have DID as far as I can tell, most likely has borderline traits and when very emotional dissociates. She's never been officially diagnosed and has never gone for therapy, though she's been to two psychiatrists over the years, and left after a session or two when they would not join her in blaming my dad or somebody else. But as you can imagine, therapy requires a different mindset.

My reflections on her are based on myself being in therapy on and off with multiple therapists for over 20 years (since my teens), studying mom's moods, and talking about her to my various therapists as I was working through my own pain and suffering and victim mentality. This new round of therapy started when some years ago my sister was hospitalized with suicidal tendencies, which traumatized me and necessitated therapy once again. She's living on her own now and seems fairly stable, but I can never tell anyways, I don't have a clear memory of how things happened around that time or what the signs were. And that's why also I'm more tuned into mom since then, because of how she mistreated my sister during her crisis period, not intentionally, but because it's hard to care for someone when you yourself are full of pain that you're unwilling to share or get better and yet insist on trying to care for others.

As I write this I'm becoming aware of parallels here too, I should try to focus on myself more and get better. My primary responsibility is to myself, not my parents, not my sister, etc.

BTW I'm in my 30s, she's in her 60s.