Please rethink the idea that you can't take care of yourself right now, because you really need to put yourself first. I feel so worried about your state and I think you're getting so much encouragement to remember that you really matter to so many people. Right now, my meds are working pretty well for me, but there are times I have to put myself into the care of others. Please hold on, please get more help. (((((Big hugs))))) And **** work.