Why is it such a horrible thing to tell your teenager to clean his room?! He acts like I just told him to pluck out his eyeball or something. He's all "Why does it matter so much to you if my room is a mess?" Well, for one thing, I need the 2 laundry baskets that you have in your closet with your clean clothes in them from a week ago. I also wanted to say it doesn't MATTER why, it's in MY house, so clean it the frick up! But I didn't. I'm about to do it myself and present him with a bill. And he will not like my hourly rate.

Either that, or start charging him $200 a month for room and board.