I'm not doing very well today. I don't know exactly what is bothering me, but I am really struggling. I've been dx and treated for Bipolar, Social Phobia, Panic Disorder, and GAD. Along with all of this, I've been in a major depression for quite a while.

I'm getting treatment/meds from my pdoc, and I'm seeing my T on a regular basis. I also went through several months of group therapy earlier this year.

I had missed a bunch of work this year covered by FML and STD, due to the depression and above mentioned issues. To top it all off, I ended up having gall bladder removal surgery on August 1st. I was out for an additional two weeks. When I returned to work, they told me my job was being outsourced to an offshore group (read India). I was very fortunate to have found another job in my field, but as a contractor instead of a full time employee.

I guess all of this is catching up with me. I have used up all of my visits to my T and pdoc as covered by insurance. My pdoc has told me to keep coming back, they will work it out with me. My T has also encouraged me to continue visits, and that she would work it out.

I last saw my pdoc in late August. I'm not scheduled to return until December, unless needed. I haven't actually seen my T since the week right before my surgery. I'm scheduled to return this Thursday. That visit can't come soon enough. I have really sunk into the depression in the last few days, with today feeling particularly bad. I've been able to show up at work, but I can't concentrate to properly do my job. I fear that I am already failing again. I am glad to have found this site recently. I guess I just needed to vent a little. I am really working hard to attempt to calm down and relax, but it's not working very well. I guess I feel better when I get off of work for the day.

Thanks,
Jeff