Thank you. I went to my therapist this Friday and I have felt better. I cried so much and I learned that I had so much anxiety together. That I was taking so much responsibility (for my mother diet, for my brother happiness, for my older brother family life, for my father attacks and his health and that I was guilty of my family crumbling when I was 10 and so many cliche things about divorce kids) And that I need to let go. About my bitcora and what I must do to enter the new face of "debating" and how to manage my emotions.

It was good but today I had so many near panic attacks and emotional hits that I feel right now heavy and tired, yet at the same time, I'm proud because I dealing with my fear, doubts and uncertainty a lot better than I did before. Even when I felt so half sick and kind of wanted to cry, I went to my job as a teacher and I did a pretty find job if I say so myself.

It's like when you stop the crying and vomiting and screaming and you felt just empty. Like that, but in a more positive way. As if this attacks were the last outburst that my body is having, although I'm trying not to make the situation to "positive" so it became toxic.

And, well, I just feel this emotion now about my free time. I had so many subscriptions to youtube, to Tumblr, to fanfics, to movies I had downloaded, to the book of 1633 I'm hearing in my cell, to the Eberron campaign setting and the entire Burning Wheels and 7th sea and Isaac Asimov collection and so much that I don't know wat to feel or do so I just scroll 9gag or something.

I feel better. I honestly do. But this emotion outburst is hard to deal with. Not so much to stop acting or cutting the train of thought, but for this ragged feeling when they come out as if I hadn't eaten and I was low on sugar.

Any advice?