I feel very much the same way. Sometimes holidays (especially those "party" type holidays) can make people feel pressured and miserable by trying to have a good time. And it's hard when you feel like you are one of those who doesn't have it together like everyone else you see.

The 4th is a day that I don't care for that much with all of the loud booms and bangs that go on. It seems like I should be very happy, but I don't feel that way. The 4th is a day that I feel that way and so does New Year's Eve & Christmas. I'm OK at the other holidays.

I guess it has to be a semi-annual thing that has to happen to us to make us feel miserable.