Hi OLM2603, I am so sorry to hear about your troubles.

Often when you are young, the future looks so bleak and long. Many of us felt out of place and alone when we were at school (square pegs in a round hole for as many different reasons are there are numbers of us) But let me tell you something someone very old and wise told me when I was young: school years come to an end (far more swiftly than you realise) and it takes very little time for you to move on and forget those years and you have the rest of your life ahead of you. School years are not an indication of what your life holds for you.

Please talk to your mother and ask her to arrange some counselling for you. You may not actually be suffering from depression but rather just adolescent angst. But regardless, it is worth exploring and seeing if there is a deeper diagnosis or perhaps just a sense of anxiety at feeling like you don't fit and not being able to find your place. Rest assured your experience of adolescence is so common - I can guarantee you that some of those people you see as "the popular kids" are literally crying inside with feelings so similar to yours plus you don't know someone else's experience until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

Please know this from someone 3 times your age (with kids older than you) who WAS one of those popular kids: good at sport, academics, school captain, lead in the school plays - the lot - but never ever felt that I fit. Everything will be ok you just have to keep looking forward, being yourself and moving forward.

And BTW red hair and fair skin are absolutely beautiful (from someone with olive skin and black hair). Beauty as they say is in the eye of the beholder. Just hang on mate -there will be people in your future who love you and appreciate you, respect you and cherish you and your job is to hold on to meet them.