I tried talking to those guys. Guy 2 also seems to be doubting Guy 1 as a friend. But Guy 1 came online, said "what do you want" and then just went offline. Guy 2 and I talked for a bit but it was mostly silence as we have absolutely nothing to talk about. He's really confident around other people, he's been in multiple relationships but it always ends for him because he just p*sses them off by being just insensitive and annoys them. But yeah, we basically talked for 5 mins then nothing. They all wouldn't ever message me either to talk. I always have to go to them, they have never ever once messaged me. It feels like they definitely don't care if I was there or not.

I just find it so hard that I'm so terrible at socializing and being around others. I'm constantly thinking of how others think of me, how I look, etc. It's so hard because I used to have loads of friends when I was younger when I lived in the town. Now I'm isolated 20 miles outside the town with my mum and step-dad.

I still get bitter about not being around growing up with my older half-siblings. To never have any advice or help growing up and also never being able to confront my mum because she is out of touch with everything.

I just can't cope