I experienced intense mania in 2013 that transitioned into psychosis, and was eventually sectioned under the mental health act for 6 weeks before being released. Immediately after that I was prescribed olanzapine/zyprexa that literally turned me into a zombie. I would sleep 16 hours a day (10pm-2pm), I developed social anxiety and avoided everyone, didn't log onto facebook/instagram for two years, my sex drive was zapped (I would only masturbate once or twice a week, and it was difficult to reach orgasm) and literally spent the 8 hours a day i had awake watching tv shows online. I also gained 15 kilograms (33 pounds). I was so detached and bored with life I was saving up sleeping pills so I could kill myself one day.

Three months ago I suddenly stopped taking my medication because I was tired of the weight gain and demotivation. Pleasantly I have lost 10 kilograms already. Instead of sleeping 16 hours a day, I began to sleep 8-9 hours. The past few weeks I have been sleeping less.

I was awake for 26 hours on thursday/friday last week. Last night I slept 5 hours and I have been awake for 18 hours so far (it's 4am here and i'm slightly tired now). I re-activated my social media. My sex drive has returned with a vengeance, I am able to orgasm up to 8 times a day (usually 4-6).

I am making plans to re-enter university in 2017. I find that small things now irritate me. I am slightly more confident due to the weight loss. I am slightly more social but still struggle with social anxiety and tend to avoid social situations. I do not have racing thoughts, but I have a lot more of them than when I was in my zombie state.

I am no longer bored, I feel slightly elated some days, there's always something to read, watch, jerk off to or someone to talk to to pass time. I much prefer being this way than being on medication. But will I spiral out of control over time like before?