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Lost_in_the_woods
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Default Jul 04, 2016 at 12:29 PM
 
Hi Seahorse
I just read the linked article and honestly Im shocked and rather offended as well! ... and quite frankly surprised as I dont come across any art. here that has such a one sided narrow pov and neg. tone.... idk how bloggers are chosen, but thank you for bring this to attention... That art. seems very unPC I also suffer from childhood trauma abuse and neglect....and while being blocked off emotionless and shutdown and some other stuff metioned there is def my MO when I have to deal w/ my immediate family....but outside relationships....That discription is NOTHING like me! Just ask my SO(lol)! Whats funny is that while i exp. CEN thru out my life...my SO was raised much differently and he is the quiet aloof hates emotional verbalization.. and has a hard time w/ reacting compassionately to others emotional needs...He is a great guy...I on the other hand, am definately physically more withdrawn, do need a lot of alone time and space..but very emationally verbal. I cry alot, talk about my feeling to the best i can understand them and try to listen and respond compassionately to his.. I drive hom nuts sometimes...tgink to much to quick and make him dizzy...he moves to much to quick and everything else falls apart outside his one area of concentration. We are opposites who both clash and compliment each other.... I dont believe in just one portrait of childhood trauma... Many varying outcomes can result. What I find interesting is if i may use me and mySo as ex: again..two very different upbringing from dimilar economic and household structures also only a few towns away so culturally sim as well two parent ea, 3children ea, and family spilt in teen yrs...My family- DYSFUNCTIONAL TO THE MAyrsAlcoholic Narcassistic mum who "only got married and had children cuz it was the next appropriate life choice after college.".... No ones opinion but hers was ever right and subject to change of rules at anytime. If you could live up to and anticipate her changing standards, you were worthless, lazy, ungrateful, and stupid. Punishment was extreme verbal abuse and rudiculously long lists of impossible tasks. No arguements or comprises would be entertained...further punishment if u talked back...her standards only applied to others...she never held herself to any standards, complete chaos..only thing to do was be quiet, stay out of sight and hope she was too busy with her own stuff to rtemebe ur existance... Dad was withdrawn and unapproachable. When he was in a good mood, you might get invited to watch a movie or go out w/ him. But he could only handle and like on child at a time...mostly just not present at all. No help and little comfort. Siblings were also indivually held to different standards, so i might get screamed and punished for something another did same and was praised/ validated. "She took my toy.." mom response to oldest being the perp.= "Shes bigger and stronger that makes her entitled to whatever she wants..not my prob. Work it out amongst yourselves". Middle being the perp.= "taking others things is stealing! You are not allowed to touch anyones stuff or go in their room w/o pemission. Give it back immmediatesa, appologize and go to ur room and dont come out til i say so, we will discuss your FAULTS then.". Youngest being the perp.- "Shes just a baby doesnt know any better. Just give her the toy so she wil stop fn crying!"... you get the pic...... His Family- Mom looney as hell. Martyr complex. Never yelled, quietly discussed but went on and on forever...everything was "perfect" not just herself but also entire family. Dad and mom didnt really verbally communicate with each other. Chores were itemized and left in Love you, Mom notes. Nagged at if not accomplished unless it was something she could easily do herself afteework then she would just quietly and happyily do it and w/ no punishment or verbal berating...never swore. If kids were in same space/room smothered w/ attention..otherwise mostly left alone. Dad was miserable in marriage, but good to kids. Physically avoidant of being home but took interest in hobbies and likes. Happy and excited to buy anything and EVRYTHING related to kids,interests engaged w/ them outside of mom domain... vollenteered in sports and youth group activities etc...idk if their was much diffence btwn how each was treated...except my SO was "sick" as a child so kept close prob overly smothered w/ attention and bought the most expensisive and quantity of toys cuz needed to be indoors much when little.... The way I see it, is my SO's behaviour (which mirrors that art. maybe the result of too much attention and lack of communication btwn parents and overall just everythings fine even when it wasnt attitude....my behaviour is response to never being heard validated or feeling loved therefore over expression and panic to fix any little crack in relationship for fear of being berated or unloved. Of course there are other outside childhood factors as well some that neither of us have much mem of...sorry im long winded. Just wanted to share my thoughts on subject...and let you know i agree with you about this article.

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