Quote:
Originally Posted by RxQueen875
Anyone else more sensitive because of BP or possibly BPD? Whenever I disagree with someone and it upsets me, i dwell on it for days. I cry. I stay in bed. Or when my BPD comes out, I fight back in a overbearing manor all to stick up for myself. Now mind you, I am going through a major med change and a severe depression so this makes all this 47386 times worse.
Now couples fight. I don't care who you are, no relationship is perfect and it takes work. When my bf and I get into it or his mother (who is a major trigger for me) buts in, I'm a nervous wreck for days. Just yesterday an issue like this happened. We made up and all... But I woke up feeling like it's still a fresh wound. I obsess over it and my bf can't understand why im so tore up over the smallest of fights.
Then there's my family. They don't understand my MI and see it as an excuse not to work. Whenever i talk to my dad and he brings it up I shut down. Leave. Hang up. Then sit at home and cry for days.
I'm well aware my extreme lack of self esteem is a major roll here.
I guess I'm just needing to vent. Im a nervous wreck, new pdoc has me under medicated, my personal life is a mess. And I feel like it's making my BP worse or is it the BP that makes me so unbelievably emotional? Today is particularly hard and in trying my all to keep it together and not cause a scene[emoji22]
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I'm definitely more sensitive because of BP. You are not alone.
I was never diagnosed with BPD, and I don't think I have it, but I certainly have a few traits. Triggers for me lately: if something doesn't go my way, I cry about it. Also, when I put effort into my relationships, and I get the short end of the stick. Unfortunately, I gravitate towards people with their own emotional baggage, and they gravitate towards me though...so this is bound to happen. I end up feeling rejected a lot, even though I know they aren't overtly rejecting me. Plus, lately everyone is so unreliable with plans...I feel like giving up and saying no one cares.
I get sensitive over little things too. Like today, 2 people pointed out I'm losing weight and kept telling me "don't lose any more weight" a few times during my visit with them. This irritated me so much. I'm not trying to lose weight!! Plus, I know I lost weight, they don't have to rub it in my face what I can't help. I have some health problems and the anxiety makes it difficult to eat. I know a lot of people would sit and say that they wish they'd have people notice weight loss, but I wish they'd mid their damn business, especially since they are telling me to gain weight when right now it's out of my control. I found it rude. Right now, I'm on the brink of tears, even though I may sound melodramatic. I'm so sick of this. Hang in there. ((Hugs))