Thanks to everyone for their answers. I am listening and learning so much from you all.

Firstly, when I need a hug, I will ask for one! I have felt ashamed of my moods and feelings believing that they made me a week person. Thus conveying them made me feel vulnerable. I must realize that my husband IS on my team and will not neither judge, criticize, or condemn me. I'll definitely take into consideration the fact that he is NOT a mind reader. I think that a lot, and it just makes me angry at him as I believe him to be cold and uncaring. The truth is, he is just unaware of my needs. We show kindness and love towards one another. Communication is a work in progress. I know that at times I will still suffer silently, Bipolar & BPD are complex, confusing, and absolutely frightening.

I am told by my parents and some friends that if allow myself to relate to the symptoms than I have succumb to having the illness. I am called a negative person when I i can identify with the symptoms. They know I have been diagnosed by more than one doctor, they see my visible scars, yet remain clueless. So, I bottle it up and feel even worse about myself. This is how it has been. Since I've begun educating myself I feel that recognizing the disorders leans more towards empowerment. In recognizing my behaviors I can hopefully develop coping mechanisms.

I am grateful that my husband doesn't mock me. I finally have someone that can help me fight in this struggle. I'm not used to this AT ALL! Someone I can actually talk to about this stuff. I know that even if he doesn't completely understand, at least he is listening.