Dear marmaduke and ValentinaVVV, I just found your responses. Thank you very much. I don't know how to subscribe to a thread. Anyway, here's the update about my sister. I agree with you, marmaduke that she's selfish and does not care about how she affects others. Valentina, I do not know if she has a MI. I know she has no dx, but she has taken antidepressants from time to time. I wrote, " I honestly don't know how to handle this." Well, I figured out how to handle it, and did. The disagreements and blaming/denying had taken place on the phone for decades. She'd say something and then say she didn't say it. She say I said something that I didn't say, but since this was on the phone it was impossible to verify/prove what we said. Then for a month or two, our email correspondence started to increase instead of phone calling. Ha! Gotcha! I now had proof, in writing, what had been going on over the phone. Around that same time, she did something to a male friend of hers that was absolutely inexcusable. That did it for me!!! I dropped her. I told her I didn't want to communicate with her ever again. A couple of months later, she emailed me happy birthday, and I wrote back saying, okay thanks, but "it still won't work." About 6 weeks later she wrote something regarding a cousin of ours. He asked her if I wanted a DVD of the funeral of his wife!!!!!! So, here she is, playing Go Between between my cousin and me. She and I discussed -- and followed -- zillions of years ago not to be go betweens for anyone. So I wrote briefly that I did not want the DVD. She wrote "What if he wants to know why you don't want it? Shall I just tell him it's too painful for you to watch?" I said No, because that is not true. Please tell him something true, like that you and I are no longer on speaking terms." Then my big mistake - the next day, I thought of something that she might want to tell him, if she didn't want to "fess up" about her and me (which I'm sure she is trying to keep secret from other members of the family). That opened the flood gates, and she sent me a long, long email, which I did not read -- not again!!!! So I wrote back, "Don't contact me again, for any reason whatsoever. I won't answer anyway." Period. She's gone. I changed my will. And she is no longer listed as my emergency contact or personal representative of any sort. Since she has been alienating her two sons from me since they were teenagers (now in their 40s), and since she never includes me in her visits and various fun things she and my grand niece (her granddaughter) do, I think I'm out of their lives, too. I would like to stay in touch with my grand niece, but unfortunately the only reliable mailing address the teen has is at my sisters. She "lives" at various places, including her monther's, her dad's (my nephew), and each of her grandmother's. The parents are irresponsible and would not give her the card I'd send. So I'm at a loss how to communicate with my niece. She has lost a Lot of people she loved, mostly the various boyfriends of my sister who come and go, plus ditto her mother's boyfriends who come and go. Once, the dad and mother moved in together and got engaged. Well, that didn't last. One time when my sister broke up with a long term b/f she lived with, my niece said, "I thought I'd never see him again." My sister said that Niece/Granddaughter would see him again. But I don't know if she ever has.