well, i was really anxious today, but I drove into town by myself, made myself do it, went to therapy, had a damned good sob, told her everything i was feeling and the knot in my stomach went eventually.... we worked through a lot today. My mum is narcissistic apparently, and I am schitzoid which means I withdraw (i didn't know what schitzoid meant til today).
She has delayed me saying anything to mum until I am ready, my mum is in denial about a lot of my past and hers.
Thankyou everyone who replied to my posts and who have supported me these last couple of days. My son has been fantastic, really supportive and so has hubby. They have a counsellor coming tomorrow to help them deal with any issues they have concerning me, and to help them deal. It was so easy to find this counsellor for them, funny how the English mental health system works. I'm glad they have someone to talk to.
My daughter gave up her part time job which is very near to where we live and is going to work nearer college, she has just about left home now, I think I am grieving or so my pdoc thinks. She has promised to come home a couple of days per week, her b/fs house is only a few minutes from college so she stays there in the week. she is nearly 19, i'm just so sad she seems to be moving on - i suppose this is practice though for when she goes to university next year. sorry for rambling. Anyway, I feel better tonight and my son and I have had a laugh and a hug.

Love, Jinny xoxoxoxoxxoxo