Ok I'm not getting any better. I'm crying and rocking back and forth and I'm just really trying to hold it together until I can call my pdoc in the morning. I'm obsessing very badly about these negative things that are happening in my life and I'm going insane. Pretty much my new pdoc took me off all my meds because "she didn't like them" and started me on some BS that wouldn't even touch a mouse. I'm drinking right now to stop the anxiety and I can't get myself to eat any food. I'm really close to just going to the ER where they have IP on the third floor. It's one thing to be hurt but im obsessing badly over these hurdles In my life. To the point it's not healthy. I have a few seroquel (my staple med that she took me off of!) and I think to save my sanity I'm going to have to take one tonight to calm down and get some rest. I'm so mad at this new pdoc. I'm so mad at the things that are going on in my life. I can't cope right now.

It's a wonderful fun holiday and I hear the fireworks outside and I'm in my room curled up into a ball crying. Every muscle in my body is tense with anger.

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