Hi Charley, my girls are 17 and almost 17, my son is 20. I had a foster daughter for 12 years who died suddenly 5 years ago. My youngest has ocd and has since she was 7. It's got her by the tail and as she is wrestling with her demons it's hell not to be able to rescue her and make it all better. I can hear Jane's soothing voice about giving kids love and roots and arms to cry in. I have ptsd from severe childhood neglect and lots of all kinds of abuse. I never knew about stories or teddy bears and all of that so Jane taught me just by still embracing the whimsical and silly in all of us. I have made mistakes parenting, who hasn't? My biggest regret is that I have had to spend so much of their growing time mourning my loss and being overwhelmed with my own strong feelings. I never could tolerate a strong feeling and I am learning that. As well, I am learning that my kids are going to have strong feelings and by staying calm and solid I teach them they can live through it and grow. When my daughter had her melt down sunday I was freaked out and Never have called her therapist or docs or anything but I left a message for her t and she called back and said stuff like, so she's lying under a tree and she has bloodied her knuckles, she is not going to freeze as it's warm out, she is not hurting herself anymore, she is not hurting anyone, go out when you are calm and tell her you are there and will talk when/if she desires. Well, simple advice that I could have given anyone but I had to hear it. I told her T how I felt so powerless to help her and was frightened for her emotionally. She told me my kid is strong and smart and has to deal with some big stuff right now and will get through it. She said I was a very nurturing parent and that my kid felt safe with me. It was good stuff. Of course I think this T is way younger than me and doesn't have kids but she's great. I am confused by your language, Do you have a daughter who is 1.5 years old or do you have 2, 1 and 5? Children are such a gift and a responsibility. Just talking about parenting helps. I wish I hadn't been so freaked when they were unhappy, I wish that I had protected them more from the world. The youngest OCD came after she revealed she had been molested by a mature teen. So, obviously part of her backslide here is blossoming feelings that she morally believes are wrong. Poor baby. So, Charley you are protecting your child or children, you are making a change from what you experienced. Your child in turn will be even more strong and so we create a new cycle of parents growing stronger families. Jane was an exception in the world. I know that now so well. She loved with power and strength and always knew what was most essential. I re-read my last post and it made me cry a bit. But it's all good, I can cry now. I have learned I won't die if I cry. I had my Jane, she was my teacher of all things about life. She was as dear as anyone could be and is held in so many hearts. Thanks for continuing to ask me about her and let me process the loss, the grief. Tell me about your daughter/s?