@eskielover sorry, my first reply was very rude. I was angry at the time, but I shouldn't let this out on you

@Anna72914 the "treating him like a child" comment was a reaction to the suggestion to "bribery and reward", which I still refuse, but thats me. [regarding child: he brings the child to kindergarden. After that it's mostly my responsibility. And everything that has to be organized is on my todo]
But maybe you are right. I tried having clear tasks (like cleaning the bathroom) but it didn't work.
We tried the list with all task and "pick what you want" but it only works temporary.
Maybe a combination would do. I'm so frustrated, I didn't see that option. For me it was having a boyfriend who finds time to play 3 times a week computer games vs me having to miss classes for even a few hours on my own. But anger is never a good judge, so I know I see everything worse than it is.

@rainyday107 I am glad you found a solution for your problem. Sadly we are rather poor, so a cleaning service is out of option