Well, thanks to you all for your encouraging thoughts and comments. I'm seriously considering seeing a therapist asap, even this week! I haven't made narry a call or looked in the phone book, yet.
My other problem is hypnotic conditioning done to me by these terrible men and their ilk. Some of my associates at work and friends or those I thought were friends have found out how to use this simple thing on me to control me. This is another reason I need a therapist. I've been preconditioned to respond to a snap of the fingers for those who use this to sway me to do their bidding. I'm shocked to think my coworkers would stupe so low but, then, they are looking to ruin or change my life without my consent?? It's worse than ptsd! I'm afraid to trust or speak to anyone now. If I do who knows what I may end up doing without being in full control of my faculties. This is more than scarey, it's got to be illegal to manipulate someone like that isn't it? Does anybody here know? Or know about removing the conditioning? I need to ASAP!