T just emailed back, the question she asks, is such a good question, yes its that I needed someone to be with me....

You are feeling very alone and at the same time afraid of getting any help, because you think it will make you feel bad again. What you are going through does feel different to before, and although I can see that it doesn’t help you manage the feelings right now, I think it is different because you are stronger and have more insight. You have been through similar swings before, but you were able to split off the doubt and confusion, so it didn’t feel as bad. Actually, it was worse, and getting through this, which I’m confident we can, together, will help you in the longer term.


Feeling alone is part of what you are going through. It’s about your difficulty with experiencing me as someone who can help you and who is on your side, but it’s also about the reality of your childhood, when you were generally left to manage difficult feelings alone. But feeling alone is not the same as being alone. Even though you feel alone, you continue to be able to reach out for help, and I think this shows that deep down you are aware that it is possible to have the help, and that perhaps you are not alone as you feel.


Is it someone to do something you need? Or someone to be with you while you go through this?


I’ll see you on Friday.