Do you have a safe place inside your house? A way to close everything around you or hide like closing the door with a lock and put a weight in it? A secret place? Space where you cannot be found or that can be breached? I'm not an abuse survivor or well, I survived plenty of physical abuse and even when he was gone he beat me up twice when he entered our house with copied keys but you might have survived a hell that I can't even imagine and I'm so awed by it.

It helped me to close my door with a safe and a lock here and in my apartment to sleep and to buy a barrete. I think for some time I would hide in my closet and made myself a taco and imagine that it was impenetrable. I used to hide a kitchen knife for months in the case of burglary (which was another way to think of my father?

Do you have a pet near you? A Big dog? Or a weapon, like a pepper canister that you can have near you and use it as a pillar to concentrate your emotion?

How do you experience this sudden fear? For me, it was paralyzing sensation and a sense of falling down when I was a teenager. Afraid of ghosts and creepies when I was in university and I NEEDED to be in closed places, everything locked and with a loud noise to feel calm again. To know that my fridge and everything was so full and prepared that I could survive in my apartment for a full week without ever having to go out.