Quote:
Originally Posted by seahorse
I think that the default position for Ts might be that it is you, that these are your patterns. They get in the habit of looking at your schemas, not at their own....in such a way, that sometimes they forget to stop and look at themselves and how they are contributing.
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I think this is true for a lot of therapists, which is why I feel very grateful to have found the two I have. I have never had any ruptures, or even any issues, with my private therapist, but I know that she owns everything that happens between us. It's just that we don't have a particularly emotional relationship.
I have had several breakdowns and misunderstandings with my university therapist, but even when I have felt that it was entirely my fault she has insisted that she was at least 50 percent responsible for it because she is one half of the relationship. And she also doesn't like to use the words "fault" or "blame". She is very self-aware and has always admitted to her own transference if that has played a part in whatever was going on at the time. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met.