Thanks for your replies. I see and have experienced the value of therapy. I also have been damaged by an ill-trained but well-meaning therapist. I'm over that situation and even processed it with a subsequent therapist.

Having a great experience and then a pretty bad one with a T, mix in some ho-hum Ts...I am on the fence as to therapy for me now. I think it's mainly because I don't think I need therapy right now. I had a few years of great therapy. Unless a major life change occurred, I don't think I need a therapist right now.

My pdoc would prefer I have a therapist because he wants the best for me. I once told him I didn't need a therapist and he looked at me and sardonically asked did I not have any issues. lol

Sure, I have issues but I think the main one is whether therapy is a good idea. Maybe I'm afraid. I see so many people here get very close to their Ts and it can be painful. I feel for them.

I don't want that attachment. I don't want to be anticipating my next appt to see T. I don't want to care if T is on vacation, or seems off one day, etc. I don't want to pay my T money to process how attached I am to them. I don't want to know personal things about them. I don't want them to do anything to make me feel special, other than supported. They are a tool in a toolbox, to me.

I had none of those thoughts or concerns about my good T, but he had counter-transference and handled it very, very poorly. I was attached to him in a therapist-client bond only. But it hurt like hell. It came out of nowhere (to me) and our therapeutic bond was completely destroyed. We tried to repair it, but It was not the same for me, at all. It was like my therapist was gone and there was just some guy sitting there.

I graciously left after a few unsuccessful sessions. He thanked me for teaching him things....I don't want to be that person ever again. And he wasn't a bad guy....it was just bad, I guess. We never even did text, email, or phone calls. Only phone calls for scheduling where I always received a voice mail in an electronic voice. He said our therapy was sterile and it was like he wasn't even there. I just accepted him because I trusted him and he was helping me in therapy. He was huge on boundaries and that was fine with me. What a mess.

I'm not putting anyone down here, at all. I think it's great you can open up to your Ts like you do and get so much out of therapy.

I either don't need therapy or I do not want to risk getting hurt again in therapy. I think the system is highly skewed to protect the Ts, as well. I don't like the if it gets tough, ditch them with a referral sheet. That's a very weak ethical obligation- a client could be devastated by that and for the T, it's just next client in the appointment book.

That's where I'm at. Helped in therapy, hurt in the end by T but not on purpose. Never succeeded in finding a replacement T. Got over it, I'm not angry. At this point, I feel I'm doing ok non-T. If I had a major life issue arise, I can see getting a T for short-term support.

Anyone want to post about going non-T?