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Originally Posted by rainyday107
We are here to support you. We aren't able to diagnose anyone and we recommend people see a doctor concerning whether they have a particular diagnosis. We also cannot function as a crisis line. Please call emergency services in your area or go immediately to the hospital if you are suicidal. Your recent posts in the schizophrenia forum show you've been having a hard time. We are glad you are reaching out for support.
If you are psychotic still, you may not be able to realize it. Are family members and friends saying you are currently psychotic or has your psychotic break passed? If it hasn't passed or people in your life are showing concern, I think you need medical attention by calling your doctor right away or going to the hospital. You're exhibiting signs of paranoia and possibly are delusional based on your post. You sound distressed and not feeling well. This is my unprofessional observation.
The woman in your life ... your relationship status is confusing to me. Are the two of you a couple but she is dating others? You don't need to continue being with her if she will not be exclusive to you. It sounds like you want her to be happy but she has to find that within herself. I think you need to focus on stabilizing yourself right now. Giving your girlfriend space may be good for you for a few days. If she wants to be left alone and tells you, then you need to respect that. Like I said, your post isn't clear on your relationship so these are general suggestions.
Focus on you. That is very important. Are you taking medication? Under the care of a doctor?
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Others will post here to you, too. Take care...part of me thinks the hospital may be safest for you now. It has helped me during hard times. Are you able to consider going inpatient?
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I would love to go to a hospital right now. Problem is that if I tell my mam she will say "it will pass" if I tel my pdocs they will send me to the only hospital for kids and teens which is very well expensive. If I go to my pdocs now, I probably will have to wait for hours. I was placed on a waiting list, I am going at 11th of this month.
My relationship is an open one, for her. I am too loyal to love someone else. Nothing is really wrong. I was just being paranoid, but of course I will realise that after whatever is happening with me. I am being delusional, but I'm used to it.
For the suicidal thoughts, it's the same with the voices I just let it be, if they become bad enough I usually talk myself out of it.
I still do think she is abusive. I have never been so anxious around someone.