I for the life of me cannot continue to play this charade any longer I am fed up with everything I don't even have the energy to have anger towards anyone. I am just so confused how I don't seem to care or feel anything but this apathy towards everything. The main thing that has sent me off is men I am tired of lying and pretending that I find any of this interesting and exciting I just don't have the energy for people and there perceived ******** any longer. I just want to study and keep my head down and not think about romantic relationships since they are not important (it's not like they are going to lead me down anywhere important in life anyway). I just want to stop thinking about it I want to go back to school but I can't until September. I just want the comfort of my college friends, I want a new life I want to stop thinking so far ahead into situations that I make up in my mind. I just want to stop worrying, I want my energy my life back. I want to paint, to draw, to dance, to work, to chill....