I like this thread. I think it is important to discuss what we do to care for ourselves without therapy -- whether therapy ended well for us or whether we simply find it isn't working well for us and we need to find something else that will help us instead. Therapy isn't for everyone all of the time, or even at all.

It feels good to be in a place where I no longer rely on that other person to get through. While therapy did me great good, I always felt somewhat broken in that I needed that other person to help me navigate through my life (and I truly did need that other person - I was in pretty bad shape). But I longed to be truly healthily independent in my ability to manage life.

Fortunately for me, I had a therapist and a pdoc who both had the philosophy that the goal was for me NOT to need them and they always kept me moving in that direction. It was my therapist who got me back to the place where I could rejoin life and that was the real transition into my independence from therapy I guess.

You mentioned spirituality, and for me, that was something I really needed to get back in touch with. I realize it isn't for everyone, but my church and my faith had always been a deeply defining part of who I was and I had isolated myself from it for quite a few years. My T and I talked about that and the reasons I had isolated myself from my spirituality, and eventually I got to a place where I chose to step back into my church. Getting back to that place, those people, that support system, has been refreshing and nurturing for me.

I've found my supports outside of therapy through reinvolving myself in activities that feed my soul and that I'm passionate about. I had lost my passion. I hadn't engaged in my music in quite a few years when I was depressed - it was part of my isolation. But once I stepped back into my church and the church choir, that spark for music seems to be relit. And I very uncharacteristically took a huge musical risk to get highly involved in a musical activity that involved meeting new people, highly scheduled and structured rehearsal time, performance . . . and did I mention meeting and working with completely new people? Total strangers! That was major for me. I am NOT a social animal. But I did it, and I discovered I enjoyed it, and I've grown very fond of those like-minded passionate music people which has really changed my life. I've gain confidence in myself again - or maybe truly for the first time in my life if I am to be honest with myself.

Belonging. You mentioned that need, and I agree that is very important and perhaps part of what my therapist did for me for many years. I was isolated from most other relationships, so having that other person to engage with regularly was at least some sense of belonging. But it wasn't real -- not in the sense that it involved real-world interaction and relationships outside those four walls. But therapy bridged a gap for me while I got myself to a place where I finally could re-engage in relationships and passions on my own -- and that is an important role of therapy for many people I think and shouldn't be discounted.