The goal is going back full-time after appts with therapist and MD on 19th and 20th to clear me. I am using this time to settle and level. To change some habits (I drank too much coffee most days, which wasn't good for me in any way -- I'm on strictly tea now). Meditation and breathing work. I still maintain that when I was jumping up into mania (insignificant diagnostically) and then returning to high-grade hypo, I went into this other world of healing and connection with universal energy. I realize this may sound a little crazy and such. But it happened, and I am basically a Buddhist now that knows nothing about the religion lol. "It will be OK, no?" "Everything in its right place" "Have no fear, no suffering, no pain". Stuff like that. Is much more ingrained in my conscious now.
I am gardening a lot and using that as creative outlet. And for relaxation. I like when friends come over and see the newest things I've done. It's a very bipolar garden lol. And I gain great peace from being in it and molding it.

I have ran a few times and weather permitting aim for 3+ a week. Plus am doing some light weight training and other basic exercises, pushups, squats, etc.

I still have little to no appetite but what I do eat is nutritious and adequate.

I look forward to getting back to my work projects and collaborating with my team. It brings me great joy to work with them and the 3.5 months I've been there has been so great for me.

Re: the numbers, sometimes in the evening I think I get a little hypo and have the "I'm not going to go to bed tonight" buzz. I reality check it enough but last night was pretty strong and I still was up almost 2hr after taking meds but I'm pretty sure I feel asleep right away, and got 9+ total. This is great.

But re: the numbers, last evening I felt very intrigued by them and I DID NOT do anything with at all, look at anything, etc.

I can't right now. And it is OK, no?

I was really on to something and I'm fascinated by that. That it became a manic obsession and led to a nasty crash is another story. But I did not suffer, have been in no pain, and I did predict that during the peak. WOW. This is all kind of fascinating to me and I really am coming back into my own mind. It will still take some time. And that is OK, no? lol.

Thank-you all.