well.. did i make a new account and post this just to mess with my head?
i am not in a good place to say many words... my mind is really messed up right now.. so i will try to keep it short
i totally know what you mean though... what a bad place...
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the next day I was fine. I had to babysit, so the kids I was babysitting kept me fairly busy for most of the day. As soon as I had finished though, it was like the flip switched and I felt as terrible as I did the night before. Now, unless I'm consistently distracted all the time I fall back into that state of mind without any prompting at all and I can't function or find my way back to reality. I used to be able to either pretend to function or let someone know what's going on whenever I slipped into a bad headspace. Now I cannot pull myself out of my own head. It's like reality isn't real and I'm in hell and I can't even signal for a raft to keep me afloat.
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i cant think well so not able to use my full brain power... but im trying to learn about this kind of thing too.. is your memory really bad..?
so far i have been told things about compartmentalization... maybe this why you switched and was fine while you had to babysit and it flipped over when it was done and you went back..?
they told me a couple things about dissociation and borderline personality too...
i dont really know much about this because i dont understand my feelings... i dont know what im feeling, cant discern the different feelings..
but im apparently severely disconnected
are you talking with a therapist..?
sorry you are suffering... i just remind myself constantly that where there is a beginning.. there is an end... but the end is the beginning... if something can start, something can end... so all i need, is my own place within...
the storm can only last so long... and one of us will give up before its over so it will end...
dont know if its true, but have to hold onto something...
wont catch me giving up.... wont catch me..
never give up..