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Originally Posted by Nimitri
No. If it's just like me it's an overwhelming sense of responsibility. That it's your duty to be perfect, to protect and grant happiness, safety and so many other things to people around you. That the unhappiness of others and their health are your burden and so you must act and there is no such thing as second chances, to fail, to not be the elite human.
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Not really for me. It's more like and intrinsic feeling of wrongness. Not a guilt "I have done wrong" but more a shame "I am wrong."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nimitri
Could it be self-pity? I don't know but I can tell you this. You must have compassion for yourself. Whatever the reason is, you must have compassion. And yes, a little or a lot of self-pity. It might be that you had such a little pity for yourself, so little apology for your actions that it's creating this sensation of wrongness. For me it's a weight on my shoulders and back it's a fear that I'm wasting my life, my opportunities, that I'm burning my bridges and that a successful person should work 12 hours a day, have a group of 10 friends, house, wife, be a self-made man that can and will made this world better.
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It is more like I shouldn't exist. Every time I reach out to someone, like my T, I feel overwhelmed that I have done a very bad thing because I shouldn't exist.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nimitri
it was not until now that I had started to be compassion with me, to have pity and accept my limitations that my feeling of wrongness had abated, that I can fight this emotion and let it go from my life day to day.
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Compassion is a wonderful gift to ourselves and each other. I am learning this. I am glad your feeling of wrongness has abated. Mine does by degrees, when I reach out to T and he responds kindly. I think it's that my body thinks bad things are going to happen if I get close to anyone.