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Old Jul 06, 2016, 03:19 PM
dwr3 dwr3 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: europe
Posts: 237
Also, I want to add something on my relationships with people, because I see a pattern.

I usually have long breaks between voluntary social interactions. I think about how I act, read all the stuff about social cues, keeping boundaries, then I start to miss people and decide to hang out, so I contact people. I control myself, try keeping it clear, look confident, try to stay alert and present, not say too much inappropriate stuff, stare too much or not to dissociate and look into space for too long due to getting overwhelmed. And after a few times, I start to get TOO overwhelmed and uncertain, I get clumsy, tired, start to mumble instead of speaking clearly, stare into space or say something weird due to getting less self conscious or less inhibited. My thoughts get messy and finally there comes a moment I feel I need to leave because even for others, the interaction is gonna get harder. And so I leave. It sometimes makes my friends feel very unsure of themselves, as I've been told. And then the circle repeats itself.

I remember when I went for a 4 days trip with my group of people and was completely fine and then after 2 days it started getting all too much and I just started to avoid them, stopped speaking completely and just followed everyone looking miserable and grumpy. They were so confused, but at that time I just couldn't stop myself, there was too much information coming in, too much people, I just started feeling bad and unwanted and irritable.

About a week ago I started seeing those people and it was completely fine, then we had a huge party and everyone was kind and I had fun, then we hanged out some more and there came the day I just started to feel bit lost and then I got my negative exam results and was very down (it was actually yesterday), I was outside and met loads of peers (I live in a town where I know nearly everyone my age and vice versa) and now I'm just - again - too tired to see someone and act clear and well and my oversensitive and paranoid self comes in.
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I have many NVLD and Asperger's traits.

Meds-free since 2013

Medical issues: Congenital Hypothyroidism, NCAH, others

Closely check your physical health before getting a mental illness dx.