Thank you. I went to see my T, described the woman concerned, the incident, and the behaviour of everyone, and she had a bit to say, all of which confirmed my darkest fears, including that my partner is leaving doors open to have f2f contact with this woman, and given their history, probably more.
All the stuff I know, but want to look past.
Because I have been so unwell, she suggested I use this to get closure, and that I tell him that I have to look after my own mental health and that he has to make a choice. The choice is entirely his to make, but it's either me, and we move forward, or his "friendship" with her and we end it right there.
I know that if he chooses me, he will resent me, as he already feels he has changed his life so much for me, but she says that is his problem and he needs to deal with it.
My partner is egocentric and a bit narcissistic, so he feels he is entitled, should be able to do what he wants, and he's a little above the rest of us mere mortals. He will not like this and it will attack his pride.
He has already given up a great deal to be with me, and I know the friendship with this woman is the ONE thing he doesn't want to let go.
I pick him up from the airport tomorrow. Wish me strength!