I grew up with constant suicide threats around me, along with a few suicides.

Suicide was presented as a viable option by relatives since I can remember.
It's tough to get that deleted from my consciousness. However, no attempts to date.

However, I truly only seriously think about possible suicide when I am in so much severe, relentless physical neuropathic pain. When this goes on for months, without relief, no matter what doctors do to try to help. This is when I start to think about leaving Earth.

Eventually, I get a break somehow. I regroup.