I'm just talking here, that's all.
I was diagnosed with Major Depression in 2005. I've been on meds since then. I've been attending regular psychotherapy sessions (on and off) since 2013. I still have bouts of dark moods. I've been having one lately. It comes and goes.

I've been looking for gainful employment for a few years now. I work, but its only a survival job and not in my field. I'm 47. I'm getting really tired of all this.
I'm also losing hope that I'll find a real job. I know thats not logical, because I work my contacts and keep pushing forward.

I haven't been laid in two years. Scratch that, two years and three months. I stay in shape mostly and try to stay active, but even that lately seems pointless.

How do I motivate myself to keep on fighting through it? I will be visiting my home state of CA later this month, so I have that to look forward to. But what then...