Had my pdoc appointment today. He had the gall to suggest Olanzapine after I have lost over 50 pounds to replace Geodon since my psychotic symptoms are not completely controlled. My constant research on psych meds helped me again and easily got him to agree that would be a bad move for me. Even if it did help my psychosis more, what good would that do if it makes me fat and raises my lipid/sugar levels and causes worse things than psychosis?

It also gave me the opening to ask about dropping all meds. He agreed that it is worth trying and at the very least would make it easier to switch to other things if going off meds was worse than being on them. It almost sounded like it was going to be a fun experiment on me because he said "I haven't seen you unmedicated".

He also said it is obvious what I am on isn't working since I have so many symptoms that won't go away.

I told him I didn't want to start today because I am in the middle of dental work and that is triggering my anxiety and psychosis badly. He said to just call him when I am ready and tell him which med to taper off first.

In the abstract, it feels like a great idea but now that it is real, I am not so sure. Maybe I am just afraid of the withdrawal effects. Maybe I think of my meds as a crutch and I shouldn't do that. I can say that it is so nice to have a pdoc that listens and takes my input very seriously. In my experience, that is a rare thing.