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I personally think that you're being a bit hypocritical. Your bf has been friends with this woman for 8 years. While they may have had something going on for part of that, they are still just friends.
It sounds like you both have some trust/jealousy issues that you need to work on together. Putting restraints on who your partner can have contact with is just going to lead to resentment. It's not like a situation where one of you has cheated on the other or done something else that's a major breech of trust.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..."
"I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.
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