You don't need to apologise for needing to vent, that is one of the things this forum is for. We are here for you so no need to keep it bottled up. Loneliness is awful, I am sorry you are going through this. Maybe chatting on this forum regularly will help you hone your people skills then you can work up to meeting people IRL. There are meet-up groups on line that are based around common interests and you meet people locally. Just an idea. It helped me at a time when I was struggling socially. It is tough working up the courage to go to the meet-ups but once you're there the anxiety can settle down. I hope you find some rest from the loneliness and keep posting.