Quote:
Originally Posted by scar12346
Because of my psychotic episodes, there has been some dead air between us. She continuously tells me that it is all in my head, which is true, but she repeats that I can stop it only by myself, which is not so true..
She constantly ignores my messages even though she knows that she is the only person in my life right now that I can talk with.
She says things like "Leave me alone for a while"
And I have extreme paranoia around her. She is currently dating another guy because we are in an open relationship, because if I close the relationship she will cheat on me.
She hugs every single ex, which her exes are everywhere..
She continuously says that she is not happy and that happiness is not real.
If I leave her I am on my own, which is not a good idea because I am suicidal. What do I even do in this situation.. Is there a way out?
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(((SCAR)))
It's been awhile...miss seeing ur posts.
I can relate... got no one but my SO either...and he is not much support lately.
......is this a new gf? Or the relationship that Loreen kinda threw u into?... Idk, what you should do, only u can decide what u are willing to put up with in this relationship. U can not make her change. So, is staying on "her hook" hoping, waiting (with no garrentee of change) for her to give u the support and loyalty you desire..does that outweigh, the loneliness is u break it off? Idk, only u can decide which is worse. ..
I am loyal to a fault as well and never could cut ties in any relationship b4 I was broken down completely and the other person left me... knowing both lives well...isolation and loneliness vs. desperate dependency in relationships that I know are hurting me.... my wish for you is to try to not become me... maybe if I had been able to find a way to cope with loneliness when I was ur age...I would be less broken...each time I allowed someone to beat me down, more pieces crumbled off..... Oh, Scar! You are such a wonderful kind loving person!
Please, save all your love for someone who deserves it. Someone who reflects your values and loves you for all of your pieces...even the tiny little crumbs
In the meantime....I know it's not the same, but you are not truly alone...you always have us
(DD forum misses you...please stop by and say hi some time
)
__________________
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"