Tonight in session I felt unheard and misunderstood. I wondered was it the way I communicate things to t as often she perceives it different to how I am describing. I just have up in the end and cut off contact with her. She asked what was happening and I told her that she didn't understand and wasn't even trying. She said she gets frustrated when I throw all of my toys out of the pram and throw a tantrum and she copied the way I did it, it looked nothing like me and she said I reminded her of a child so then I really gave up.
I was disappointed that I can't see a way forward with her and a part off knows that it's over. When I get mad with my parents they just ignore me, they change the subject and no one ever wants to see me when I get angry and it felt like t can't contain my anger. I told her this was hopeless, she asked me to say I felt hopeless so I said I do in this situation with her. T said she cares about me and wants to try understand me but I felt it was too little too late. I said she wasn't even trying with me only trying to change me. T looked really upset and said she was sorry. I think she knows she messed up but I can't carry her guilt around this. She did mess up and it bloody hurts that she really doesn't help me at times. I would really like her to tell me she can see why I am angry and hurt right now but she didn't, she said but that wouldn't change anything and I said it would because I would feel like you were trying to understand me and hearing me, all of me and not just the parts you want to hear from. I am just feeling really sad right now and please don't blame my t, or bash my t. I think I just need a little kindness and understanding if anyone has any to offer I would be really grateful

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