I can't seem to stop myself from thinking about when I should have noticed for myself that I was bipolar. I keep replaying the past in my mind, should I have recognized it myself.

While the diagnosis explains my behaviours I feel my whole life isn't what it should\could have been. I feel I have missed out on something, have no idea what. I can't really explain what the feeling is. I am also having flashbacks of incidents and thinking was I having an episode then and didn't recognized it.

I am still struggling to explain how I am feeling, have I accepted my diagnosis? Not sure if I have, but my mind is going over and over my past. It's making me feel distressed at times. Is this normal as I have only been diagnosed since the start of this year? How long will this go on? How does one move on? I feel I am a bit stuck and angry, upset, disappointed, maybe that I didn't or did recognised that something was amiss all my life.

The overthinking is stressing me, somedays I feel I am ok with the diagnoses. Other days I am feeling f**k this s**t why me?

When does all this stop? and I can start to live my life again.

I am P**sed off today

Thanks in advance