Instead of being angry and it causing you all this stress and whatnot.. Why don't you go about life and if a man shows interest you can easily say... You seem like a nice person but I not looking for a relationship, I have school to focus on.. but thank you.

I would say a lot of this is your BPD roaring into your interactions with men, your mom and just about anyone in real life face to face ..

Have you looked into some online work sheets that you can start to learn DBT skills that are going to help you navigate your life and not feel so bad about your life?

It's wonderful that your able to vent and get stuff off your chest , we all need that at times. But taking those first steps towards helping yourself will improve your life so much