My opinion? You are both being very immature.

Controlling and limiting what your partner does is the opposite of trust. Trust is a pretty big requirement for a happy and healthy relationship!

Why are you so concerned about him talking to his female friend? Because they somewhat had a past? So your bf, who has chosen a relationship with you, is going to cheat on you with someone he could have been involved with instead? That's rather silly. If the two of them had really wanted to be together they would be. Instead they have an 8 year friendship that you want him to end.

Your bf is quite right in calling you unfair. You actually have had sexual interactions with your friends in the past! Yes, they have came out as gay. You know it's ridiculous of him to worry about that. But that's where you're being hypocritical - you don't want him to communicate with someone he has been friends with for 8 years!

I think your bf has a more legitimate reason to be upset - you said that he is upset that you are texting and chatting at all hours of the night. Do you ever put your phone away and spend time properly 1:1, or are you consistently on your phone with your friends?

How long have the two of you been in a relationship? I'm a bit confused about how you are commited enough to each other to move states, without the two of you even trusting each other enough to trust that your friendships are just friendships.