Yes, they are marital finances and marital assets and marital debts. In my case, we had no debt except two mortgages, so my post leans towards "marital assets"rather than "marital debts." I don't know much about marital debts. Some debts incurred after I moved out of the marital home and while divorcing were considered individual debts even though we were married.

Marital assets are split down the middle. 50/50. Including investments like 401(k)s and IRAs. A personal inheritance say spouse's mom dies...not a marital asset. But pretty much everything else is half yours and if it can't be split, it can be sold and will be sold and half is yours. In some cases, inheritances may be converted into marital assets depending on the laws in your state.

That happened to me. I received stocks when my dad died and we sold them to buy property and a large down payment second residence. They became marital assets. My attorney said we might be able to argue those financial amounts were not marital assets, but I didn't pursue it. Too much time and legal fees so it just went in as a marital asset.

I acquiesced legally to some things I could probably have gotten but it was of more value to me to keep the divorce moving forward. My ex was trying to stall it and prolong it as a way to punish me. I did my best to keep it like business which is hard because it is so personal.

But you deserve 50/50. Check with your legal counsel of course. I refused to budge on my right to 50/50. My ex stupidly didn't want me to get what was plainly legally my share. That's why my divorce took so long. Stay strong and don't get bullied into a quick divorce if you aren't going to get what you are entitled to. And same advice for a prolonged divorce.

Debts racked up by one spouse during the divorce...say one buys an expensive watch and it goes on a credit card jointly owned. That should end up going on the debt side of the balance sheet of the spouse making the purchase - when the attorneys create the balance sheet for the judge. At least, that was how it went in my divorce. I went on a ski trip and put it on a credit card held by us. I let my attorney know so that was "charged" to me on my side during the divorce. My ex got several thousand dollars worth of dental work done during the divorce and put it on a credit card....that went on his side.

I made minimum monthly payments on credit cards during the divorce. I don't recommend stopping payment unless legally advised otherwise. I made reasonable ATM withdrawals from our joint bank accounts for daily cash. Similar to how I did during marriage and just for daily use and not walking around with no money. No large withdrawals or closing of accounts.

My credit is really good post-divorce. Excellent credit, just like before. A lot of people have credit problems post-divorce but I think there are ways to avoid this. We did have a lot of liquid assets so that may have made a difference. Neither of us wanted our credit rating to get bad, either, so that helped. Unfortunately we agreed on little else.

I hope that helps. Hang in there. Thinking of you.

My ex is already on girlfriend #3 post-divorce. I know you're hurting but chances are good he will realize the grass isn't greener on the other side down the road. And you may find yourself happier than you expected to be.